Just to say thank you to those of you who sent me very kind words when I was feeling very low the other night. I don’t feel quite as bad now so thank you and sorry again for posting really dumb things about how I’m feeling I err try not to, I really do.
I should put this under a read more but ai can’t just now.
I feel like the biggest waste of space around. I got a taxi back to home (like, properly home) and sat and cried in the back of the taxi because I just feel so shit and inadequate. Everyone else I know has achievements and talents and I have nothing. There isn’t anything that someone can say I’m good at. I feel like my sister doesn’t want me to have anything to do with her baby and is trying to keep me put of her life. I feel like such a massive let down to my dad and also feel so guilty for moving out and leaving him on his own. I’m shit at my job and want to quit yet also know no one else will hire me. I feel so ugly that I didn’t go into work 2 days in a row because I couldn’t leave my flat. I really, really, really like someone but I just know he doesn’t like me a all. I feel like all of my friends at best tolerate me but just can’t be bothered with me. I feel like such a burden to everyone. Most of all I miss my mum. It’s almost eight years since she passed away and I feel like such a disappointment to her memory.
I don’t know how much longer I can go feeling like this.
Bloodbuzz Ohio by The National properly hurts me like “I never thought about love when I thought about home” gets to me every single time. Probably not the best choice to listen to when feeling a bit weird.
Pretty much every summer without fail I have a spell of listening almost exclusively to Sung Tongs. What a brilliant album.
I made a very exciting discovery today - lidl sell garlic bread that is vegan. I had garlic bread and spaghetti with vegan pesto and almost cried with joy. So unhealthy but soooo good. You can tell ny life is kind of shit when I get so emotional over food.
They’re playing The National in full at this bar I’m in. Looks like I’m heading for a drunken cry then.